Is it the People....or the Idea?

Something I have learned about the reservation is that the people matter, but so does the idea of what is happening around us here.  This week has been really hard for me.  Last summer I was here as a volunteer and this year I had two weeks before I began working.  So I became aware of how to work with the employers and the volunteers.  I feel that I am pretty good at it by now.  However, this week I finally ran into some obstacles with people.  There is a woman here this week who came by herself.  I would say she is in her late 50s-60s.  VERY out of sorts.  I couldn't tell you why I think she is here, but I am still trying to figure it out.  There are so many stories as to why people come here, but I am still trying to figure out her story.  But we ran into a knot.  She and I clashed a little bit, and it became an issue for the whole staff.  Every night after our work day we have a time called 'Roses and Thorns'.  Basically we share with the group what our most memorable and positive part of the day was (the rose) and then what bothered us just a little bit (the thorn).  However, the rule is that you are not allowed to have a person be your thorn.  Last night we began well, everyone was laughing about the day.  There were so many good things to hear from the kids and the adults.  Then it was this woman's turn.  Her thorn was the staff.  That was all she said.  So I was leading roses and thorns last night and I was left in an awkward position.  Even though I was not with her for the whole day, I was still very uncomfortable that she went against the rules.  After the session, I went to her cabin and asked to speak with her.  I nearly cried because she got right in my face about the way Re-Member should be their job, and the way we as interns should be doing our jobs, and that our outreach was not worth the time.  She was telling me that everything out here is the own person's fault and that 'these people' as she says, should be helping themselves by moving away and getting a job and to sober up.  I was fuming!  I did start to tear up and I tried to control my temper, and I think i did pretty well, but it was very hard for me.

Sometimes the volunteers just don't get it, but then again I give them so much credit for finding giving their own time to be here.  I have heard stories that people are always saying that the indians should just move off the Rez and get a job, but the land is all that they have left.  Their families are all that they have left.  Us white people think we know it all, but our values are separate from theirs.  We think that society should be wealthy and successful, but sometimes that is not the point.  We need to open our eyes and understand that our way is not the only way, or the right way.  It is just a different path.  But it is something that everyone needs to learn.